I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
