Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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