i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
