you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
