just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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