Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
wakey wakey hands off snakey
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
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