I think my vagina is haunted
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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