Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
