What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
