I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
