the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
