Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
