All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
