Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
My vagina just clenched in fear
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
