Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
