i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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