is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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