well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
