I smell stomach acid.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Randomize
