I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
