I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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