Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm getting married
To pizza
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
