can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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