spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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