dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
