We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
one two three fourrrrnication!
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Actions speak louder than pants.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
