HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
