woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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