I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
