So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
