my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
So drunk its hurt
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Randomize
