I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
