Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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