Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
