so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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