I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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