his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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