can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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