is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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