dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
