I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
