I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
