Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
