Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Randomize