One girl and one boy is just not enough.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
