Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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