It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
