This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
