I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
