Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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