Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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