When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
