that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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