This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize