I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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