I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize