Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
