no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
