They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
